The Kobra's Corner Awards

The Premise

There are far too many democratic-yet-rigged awards in the world. Someone (me) needs to give out an award that is based on the opinion of one person without disguising it as a group decision. There is one judge, one announcer, one person who gets to nominate people for the awards. While I make each and every decision, I am not immune to suggestions (the act, not the Level 3 Arcane spell from D&D).

The Categories and Nominations

The awards and their respective nominees are as follows.

The "Pastor Fred Phelps" Award for Excellence in Trolling IRL

• John Bruce "Jack" Thompson
• Fox 11 News in Los Angeles
• Wikki_Wikki
• Osama Bin Laden

The "Milhouse" Award For Sounding Like An Idiot

• Dick "Fourth Branch" Cheney
• Every member who has left an "I'm leaving, but not quite" topic on Kobra's Realm ever.

The "Mitchel Henderson" Award For Political Suicide

• John Bruce "Jack" Thompson
• Charlie Crist
• Jimmy Carter (Just because he's a total fucking idiot)
• George W. Bush

The "Sam Kinison" Award For Excellence in Assholery

• "Hat Guy" from Randall Munroe's webcomic, XKCD
• Omen for being Omen (seriously... this qualifies) and for making small children cry just by being in his presence

The "Dylan Avery" Award For Being a Douchebag

• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
• Alex Wuori for trying to get the news to go batshit on Anonymous
• JokeDeity; just because he won't ever read this.
• Every StumbleUpon and Digg user

The "I'm Not Ernest Hemingway" Award For Shitty Writing

• (Just so you know, emailing me to add myself to this list isn't original)
• Prophet from Random BrainWave
• Every member of FanFic.net
• Midori Snyder for her horrible mind-dump fantasy stories
• Anyone who owns a "personal blog"

The "Ann Coulter" Award For Being a Pretentious Piece of Shit

• Pastor Fred Phelps
• John Bruce "Jack" Thompson
• Celine Dione
• Every Country Music Singer

The "Fall Out Boy" Award For Deserving a Slow, Painful Death

• Westboro Baptist Church and their "God hates America" campaign
• Alex Wuori-- by popular request
• In the vernacular, "Fitty Cent"
• The Entire Catholic Religion (Correction by Omen; the Catholic Church is not a religion, it's a business)
• John Bruce "Jack" Thompson

I've heard enough! When the hell is this taking place?

As of right now, I have yet to decide on a date. The awards will most likely be given in December.