It makes "epic" an understatement.
For those of you who don't know, (yeah, right...) 300 is a two-hour film about 300 Spartan soldiers fighting the massive Persian army. It starts off with a Persian messenger trying to talk the King of Sparta, Leonidas, into annexing into the Persian empire. Dipshit insults the queen, pisses the king off, and threatens Leonidas with annihilation. Leonidas then gives him and all of his messenger butt-buddies a can of whoop-ass and kicks them all into a deep pit, where they all die a slow and painful death.
This movie is so awesome that it puts the dream of a Star Wars rock band on the back burner, if for but a few hours. This movie had everything that makes a movie kick total ass:
My favorite scene in the movie is when the Queen of Sparta guts a politician for pissing her off, whispers something ironic, and then slashes at him and knocks evidence of treason out of his pocket. Then, she just throws the sword down and walks out. That was definitely the best "Take this you Cock-Sucker!" scene I've ever seen.
Several critics were bitching about the amount of "slow-mo" used in the movie. Tough shit, assholes. It's not like the Matrix sequels where everything required a bullet-time scene including when Neo was running around in a circle with a metal pole. In the movie 300, slow-motion is used heavily, but not excessively. If you disagree, feel free to bite my nuts.
Violence, rampant slaughtering, lesbians, corruption, and tits galore! Why wouldn't you want to see this movie?
969 pussies (a.k.a. Persian soldiers) got their shit ruined in this movie.
Want more? Check out Kobra's Corner.
Contact me: kobrasrealm@gmail.com