From celebrity magazines to high school gossip, to discussion forums across the web-- everyone is talking about who's gay and who isn't. Everyone in America, if not the world, has made it their personal mission to know the sexuality of every living being on this planet, and gossip with all of their friends about it. To whom this concerns, I have but one question for you:
Who fucking cares?
No, really. Just because some unimportant actor (read: any actor) has a taste for the cock, it doesn't give you permission to derail an intelligent conversation with "Didja know that Ben Suckinit was gay?!! Who would've knew!!!" "Yeah, that's nice. Now shut up and let the grown-ups speak, you immature twat."
You people just can't get enough of it. Ooh, a juicy rumor about a movie actor. Ooh, someone who was asked out by a member of the same sex. Ooh, Kobra just ruined your shit with a chainsaw. I can't understand how you tools could possibly give a shit about everyone else's sex life so much, even if you consider that everyone who's obsessed with everyone else's sex life doesn't have one of their own.
But the obsession isn't enough for you people. Not only do you go out of your way to inject these rumors from dubious sources into everyday conversations, you live vicariously through the rumors and act like you have some hot tip on celebrity X that you can use to blackmail them into going on a date with you-- failing to realize that everyone in America has the same piece of gossip and your dreams of hot mansex with Brad Pitt are crushed by reality.
The only other explanation is that you're all closet homosexuals and are inspired by their "courage" to admit something after having the entire fucking country hear about it. And you'd think that admitting it would make the newspapers shut up about the bullshit celebrity and get back to reporting real news.
Pfft. Yeah, dream on.
