"Cheap Maddox Ripoff" And Other Dumb Insults

There are few people in this world who gain my ire quite like the fuckers who take time out of their oh-so-busy lives to call me a "cheap copy" of Maddox. I can't even begin to fathom how inconsiderably stupid these people must be to draw such a conclusion and automatically assume it as the irrefutable truth.

So, both on the off-chance that these morons might eventually read this page, and in hopes of enlightening those of you who would do the same if given half a chance; here's why that accusation, and other ones like it, are a moot point and makes you sound like a presumptuous douche.

"Cheap Maddox Ripoff"

The most prevalent insult, "cheap maddox ripoff" is stupid for two reasons: it implies that I'm stealing from Maddox and it implies that a "cheap ripoff" could be vastly improved if I poured money into it.

I pose a rhetorical question for you: how am I ripping off Maddox? Have I stolen anything from his website? Have I committed plagiarism?

Your fanboyism aside, Maddox does not hold the patent on satire. Nor does have a copyright on the concept of publishing your ideas on a personal website. The only way to rip him off is to copy and paste material from his articles, maybe reword it a little to prevent search engines and the like from making the connection, and publish it as your own.

Therefore, no matter how convinced you are that I'm ripping Maddox off; as long as my content is written by me and based off my opinion, you are wrong.

"Angsty Teenager"
Another insult I get alot is from people who fail to realize the purpose of my site isn't to provide you with information-- it's to blow off steam and maybe make a few people laugh. Regardless, there's always one moron in the crowd who takes my writing just a little bit too seriously and dismisses it as "the rantings of an angsty teenage blogger trying to get attention."

What they don't consider is that I've written well over 250 editorials on my website, and only 2 or 3 of them have received anything resembling traffic. I get, on average, less readers per day than most people get in a few minutes. If I really cared about attention as much as you idiots seem to believe, wouldn't I update several times per day in an attempt to make my website appear larger in an attempt to garner traffic from search engines?

Exactly. I don't care how many people read my website, nor do I care how many people agree with it. I'll still write in spite of what the reader wants, and I'll still write in spite of what the critics want.

"Trying to be Edgy"
This is the kind of insult that holds no real meaning. Y'know, like calling someone a fart-face. So when someone directs such an empty statement at me, I feel the aneurysms coming on.

I don't try to be edgy. Hell, I don't try to be anything but honest. Anything I write, except explicitly obvious jokes, is based entirely on my honest opinion. I don't fantasize about being controversial, nor do I give a shit about it. If something I say is offensive (which it always is in this politically-correct society), tough shit. I'm not trying to get a shock reaction out of everyone. I could care less if you think I'd jeopardize the integrity and honesty that reinforces my website with an attempt to be the black sheep. It won't happen.

"Blogger"
I've covered this before, but I feel it's necessary to mention this one again here. Kobra's Corner is not a blog. I know Wikipedia states "A blog (short for web log) is a website where entries are made and displayed in a reverse chronological order," but blogs rely on community and feedback.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: your comments, thoughts, opinions, feelings, etc. don't mean a damn thing to me. Some of you have already caught on to this when I've said, "If you laugh-- good! I probably did too, when I was writing the page. If you don't laugh-- tough shit!"

But what many people haven't caught on to is that the comments you post on pages that allow them have no impact on my website. A blog is shaped by the community. The only time I ever post something regarding a comment these days is perhaps a brief mention, and it's usually out of spite.

"Xenophobe"
Believe it or not, some people actually called me a xenophobe/racist because of my plan to solve the Illegal Immigration controversy.

I cannot adequately describe the contempt I hold for people as intellectually bankrupt as you. I'm not lazy enough to hate someone for being black, or Hispanic, or what have you. I was raised under the principle that, "You can't hate someone for the color of their skin. If you get to know them, you'll find plenty of other, more valid reasons to hate them." If you don't agree with this, you might need to rethink your view about humanity. Try getting a part-time job in the slums or volunteering at a homeless shelter-- it'll cure the optimism right out of you.

"You hate religion because it's trendy"
Explicitly stated in a piece of hate mail and repeated by a select few Bible-thumpers who emailed me looking for an argument-- if stupid insults/accusations take the cake, this one takes the whole bakery, enslaves the bakers, robs the bank across the street, and whores itself out for 75 cents an hour on the street corner. Our language does not have enough words to describe how grossly stupid this statement is. If these morons aren't setting the human race back with their amassed ignorance, I'll shit myself from surprise.

I don't hate religion because it's "trendy." I hate religion because it encourages blind faith and restrictive thinking. It encourages sedition and frowns upon personal opinion. In a world that is run by a democracy; censoring the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of others based on a book of outdated and inflexible beliefs is detrimental to all things progressive in nature. Feel free to believe what you want, but I'll be damned if I'm going to follow suit.

If you've read any of my pages on my website and made any of the aforementioned accusations-- congratulations, you're a dumbass. I hope you've been thoroughly sussed by this article. And if not, at least adequately sussed enough to give you time to pull your head out of your ass. You people make me sick.

Update (5-21-2007):
I am using the same layout as Maddox for this page in protest and for the sake of irony. Stop asking.

1,892 people hate me but are too stupid to insult me properly.
Contact me: kobrasrealm@gmail.com

Want more? Check out Kobra's Corner.