People the World Could Do Without

• Illegal Immigrant Supporters

The other day, a lawyer was on the news bellyaching because he thinks Illegals were being "denied due process." Oh, you want due process, do you? Applying for citizenship is a form of due process. Do you still want due process? Didn't think so.

• Creationists (aka IDiots)

These unenlightened morons are everywhere, and their reasoning skills are so bad it's almost comical. Almost. Take this video for example. If the banana was designed for the hand, then my boot must be designed for your ass.

The furthest that the Intelligent Design movement reached through the scientific method was the hypothesis of Irreducible Complexity: Biological systems are too complex to have evolved from simpler, or "less complete" predecessors, through natural selection acting upon a series of advantageous naturally occurring chance mutations.

The problem with this hypothesis is that every biological system we've uncovered so far have secondary functions if you take parts away from them. There is no evidence to support this claim, nor elevate it to "theory" status. The only thing remotely close to an example of Irreducible Complexity is the Hydrogen atom; which, by the way, forms from energy.

• Stupid Americans

Are 3 out of 10 Americans really so fucking stupid? Only the stupid (or rich) could approve of George W. Bush. People like this make me glad there are term limits on the Presidency.

• Old People

Someone needs to remind these wrinkly, old bastards that you're never too old to bathe. They smell like piss and crusty underwear, and they always insist on getting up at 6:30 AM to get a free "senior coffee." Fuck your senior coffee! You want a coffee? Pay the same price as everyone else you rancid burden to society.

• Satanists

Why don't these Satanists ever debate with these assholes who want to introduce "God created the universe" into the science classroom? Why are atheists doing all the bitchwork?

For a group of people whose beliefs are named after the mythological incarnation of evil, don't these people seem really passive? I didn't know the devil was such a pacifist.

• Hopeless Romantics

Nothing ruins a good story faster than romance. It's all been done before. There is absolutely no suspense to be found in the romantic subplots of any movie. Wanna know why? Because the wusses who like romantic bullshit need to have the obvious spoon-fed to them by the director; so they foreshadow and imply the romantic pairing over and over again until every last dipshit in the audience gets it. Then they show a gratuitous kissing scene, the audience goes "Awwww," and I go on a face-stomping rampage.

• The Media

Is it really "Breaking News" when a rap artist gets arrested for murder? Rap is inherently violent: Its name comes from a verb that means "to hit!" Rap is the only genre of music in existence with a violent name (not counting subgenres like Death Metal). Shouldn't the violent behavior be expected?