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The Olympic Games are a bunch of trivial activities in which nationalist bastards from every country on the globe tries to demonstrate that their country has a larger penis than the other countries. Yawn.
The Olympics start today, and I'm already sick of hearing about them. Where are all the grizzly stories from the front-lines of all the wars going on? The US is occupying Iraq and Afghanistan, Russia is fighting Georgia, and Iran is eventually going to piss Israel off. Why do a bunch of trivial activities dominate the news today?
If these assholes want my attention for their national-supremacist bullshit, here are a few suggestions for making the Olympics interesting:
- Landmine Golf
Golf should be a part of the Olympics, but only if it comes with the inclusion of landmines and traps. Tiger Woods, meet tiger pit. I would pay to watch that.
- Olympic Human Torch
The Olympic Torch should be made out of aborted fetuses soaked in napalm. Oh man, that would kick so much ass.
- Balcony Wrestling
All wrestling matches should take place on a balcony (or ledge) of a very tall building with no railing. The object of the game is to either make your opponent submit, or succumb to gravity.
I would add more, but the list is perfect as it is right now. If these recommendations were included in the Olympic Games, I would watch it.
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