Clinton or Obama? Important Issues from Under the Rug

As a downright weird person, I consider a few different variables that some people wouldn't dream of-- even on a LSD trip.

The Ownage Factor

If a person seeks the highest office in our nation, they damned well better be able to come up with a witty response to the unexpected (be it an insult or threat).

During one of Clinton's rallies, some immature asshole started yelling, "Iron my shirts!" heckling her, and interrupting her speech. Her response? "Oh, the remnants of sexism alive and well." (Video)

What the hell is that shit? That's not a comeback; that's not even an insightful observation. All she did was point out the obvious. Yes, Mrs. Holmes, that was sexism. What's your fucking point?

Conversely, when Clinton accused Barack Obama of working with a "slum lord," he was able to professionally tackle her accusation. First, he pointed out that the accusation referred to five hours of work on a church project; then he follows up with, "We do have to trust our leaders and what they say." (Video)

Not exactly an "Oh snap!", but, nonetheless, a sufficient and arguably succinct own from Barack Obama.

Point: Obama

Also known as the "birds of a feather" factor, I like to look at the people who literally stand behind each candidate to help determine who has the most to gain from that candidate's election. Here is what I've observed:

It may sound prejudiced of me to say this, but it seems that every Hillary supporter is either an old shit-bag or a naive middle-aged woman who considers gender over competency. There are a few exceptions, but I'm speaking in general.

Since I'm only 18 years old, I'm inclined to look towards Obama's campaign with a touch of bias.

On one hand, you have people who were, until recently, teenagers. Most young people, especially in groups, have a tendency to go with the flow. As a result, I don't put a whole lot of faith in their decisions. On the other hand, most of the teenagers who piss me off are too stupid or lazy to vote or get involved in politics.

We'll call this one a draw.

Point: Neither candidate.

While Hillary and Obama both support Net Neutrality, only Obama supports "fair use" (source). Clinton also says that she would support video game legislation.

There's no need to say it, but I will anyway:

Point: Obama